It's crazy to me how I go through my everyday life and very rarely feel the way I do today. I get worried about what I look like, what I don't have, how people perceive me, etc. I always try to strive for more or improve myself; I don't literally stop and thank God for what I have and my amazing blessing of a life.
Today at work, we had a lunch to discuss and vote on a family/person we know, who would be in need of a financial donation. I knew of a girl named Molly (through my roommate) who had been in a bad car accident a few years ago and is unfortunately still recovering from it - both physically and financially. Learning more about Molly and what she and her family goes through, makes me so mad at myself. I have no f---ing clue. I always say and think how lucky I am, but do I really know?? I feel like I can't be 'ok' with what I have - I need better/nicer clothes, more beauty products, better food to eat, etc. Its always more.
Throughout this lunch, there were about six other people who shared stories of someone they knew or were actually related to. All of the families and people mentioned are so deserving of this donation and much more. I wish we could give every one of them financial assistance. The last story hit me so hard and shocked me, because I had no clue...
One of my co-workers told the story of her sister-in-law, who is 16 years old and has cancer. Her name is Summer Dale. Claudia mentioned how one day, Summer was so excited to get her learners permit, and the next she was diagnosed with cancer. Summer has already had 3 brain surgeries, due to the tumors in her brain. Claudia said it wasn't so much of a financial need, but more so prayers and well wishes. Another co-worker asked if Summer has a prognosis and Claudia stated that it's "not good" and she is in "clinical trials". As soon as she said those two words, almost everyone gasped and winced. I thought, obviously that's not good, but I wasn't sure what all that meant. I asked someone after and pretty much, there is nothing else to do for Summer and nothing has worked. Still not completely getting it, I looked it up.
Clinical Trials are research studies that involve people. They are the final step in a long process that begins with research in a lab and animal testing. Many treatments used today are the result of past clinical trials.
So pretty much, there is literally no more hope. How heartbreaking. I wasn't even aware of something like this. I can't imagine having to go through that, much less at 16. All that I worried about when I was 16 was getting all of my homework done or who was going to ask me to the homecoming dance that year.
It's days like this that I'm sadly reminded of how precious and special life is. My biggest thing over the weekend was trying to decide if I should buy a pair of boots, that are over $100. I'm so embarrassed of that. I shouldn't be so worried about pleasing anyone else or trying to impress; the only one I need to commit myself to is God.
I'm broken down today, but I needed to be. I think we all need to know about things like this. Our lives aren't perfect and things go wrong, but there is always someone else who is suffering so much more and in pain.
