Bumming Thursday

Merp... I'm not sure why but I am so bummed/sad today. My heart hurts :( I'm literally going to list out possible causes of this, well... because that seems like the most sensible thing to do right now.

1. First Love: I unpacked, read/looked through and threw away notes, pictures & momentos from my highschool sweetheart, Aaron. No biggie, right? Riiiiight... I have no feelings for him anymore and the whole nine (he's even married now!). But reading things he wrote me was just sad b/c we were soooo in love with each other. He wrote things like, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you", "You're my everything", "You make me want to be a better person", etc. It made me happy & sad in a way, that I was "that person" to someone - happy, but sad that I'm not anymore. This was literally 10 years ago, when I was 18. I just hope I make someone that happy in the future.
2. Possums: Last night at about midnight, I heard our dogs barking outside (we have a fenced in backyard & doggie door). I was annoyed, but thought, "It can't go on for too long, right?!" - WRONG! It went on for what seemed like forever, so I went downstairs & opened the back door & called the dogs inside. They quickly came in... heads down... and wouldn't look at me... I thought they felt guilty for waking me up. Oh, well that's okay pup dawgs, I still love you. Well, I start walking towards the stairs to go to my room, when I see a dark, little thing on the carpet in our living room. I'm thinking, "Oh Lord, please let that be a sock" - something non-gross. I turned on a light and there, all curled up, was a dead baby possum :( Heart break!! :( It was about the size of my palm. I look at our one dog, Buddy (who's head was hung the lowest), and literally said, "What the crap Buddy?! You can't kill baby possums!!" So I got it in the trash & took it out, ugh. I find out in the morning that my sister found ANOTHER baby possum in the house & my mom found TWO MORE! WTH?!?!?! So that is a total of 4 dead baby possums in our house. That makes me sad. You know that mama possum is gonna get revenge on us...
3. Parents: I'm moving this Saturday and thank the Lord, my big sis is gonna help. We're getting a U-Haul and are going to do the whole bit. I'm bummed because my parents are going camping this weekend... My mom said she didn't "want to be in our way". :( I found this out because I had invited her over on Saturday, to see my new place; she had previously said how excited she was to see it. I feel guilty for my feelings being hurt over this... but my stepdad has a big truck and they're going camping?!?! They could've let me borrow his truck, instead of renting a U-Haul! :( He usually works all day Saturday and that's why I hadn't previously asked for his help - my bad I guess.
4. Moving: Also with this moving, I feel so alone honestly. I feel like none of my friends will be around on this day: some are going on a singles retreat, on vacation, etc. Or maybe I don't have as many friends as I thought I did?? I just know when some of my friends move, I try to help or at least be there. My sister and I can handle the moving, but I guess it's just the support that I miss. I think this is especially sad because my parents are going camping and pretty much saying, "See ya! Have fun with moving!" :( I know, pity party for me. I need to get over it.
5. Weight: Haha, number 5. I went over to a babysitting families house yesterday and Tuesday to cat/house sit. I went to use their restroom and weighed myself (which I haven't done in a good while). I've gained weight!! :( I shouldn't be surprised though - there IS a reason why my pants are incredibly tight and I don't feel good about myself. Sigh... sucks... I used to do Weight Watchers (Spring 2011). I started out at about 160 & went down to 147-ish. I stopped going because I couldn't go to the meetings every Thursday (my small group met that night) and the $40/month seemed like it could be spent elsewhere. = Bad idea. Last night I weighed 158 :( No one to blame but myself. My hopes are to jack up my exercise (walking) once I move. I'm right next to The Greenway (a big trail nearby), so I'm figuring I'll get home from work & take my Halle girl there (she's my black lab fyi). This is all me though and I have to work at it. Weight doesn't come off just by hoping it will or getting down on yourself. It is hard as hail, but I know I can do it. Oh, and driving home, I was starving, so I got a #1 & a Coke from Chick-Fil-A = HELLO!?!?! I love how I make excuses for myself and tell myself, "well I deserve to eat out!" - Hail no you don't! Well I can, but it's all about choices and what I choose to eat. I definitely could've gotten a grilled chicken sandwich (minus the fries), fruit & a water. But... I got the fried chicken sandwich, fries & a soad. Nuff said. 

So this is all for now! Life could be a hail of a lot worse. I need to count my lucky stars. Life goes on and so will I. I'm sure people could read this and say, "Really? That's why you're sad?! Get over it!" So, I will :) Muah!