Bumming Thursday

Merp... I'm not sure why but I am so bummed/sad today. My heart hurts :( I'm literally going to list out possible causes of this, well... because that seems like the most sensible thing to do right now.

1. First Love: I unpacked, read/looked through and threw away notes, pictures & momentos from my highschool sweetheart, Aaron. No biggie, right? Riiiiight... I have no feelings for him anymore and the whole nine (he's even married now!). But reading things he wrote me was just sad b/c we were soooo in love with each other. He wrote things like, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you", "You're my everything", "You make me want to be a better person", etc. It made me happy & sad in a way, that I was "that person" to someone - happy, but sad that I'm not anymore. This was literally 10 years ago, when I was 18. I just hope I make someone that happy in the future.
2. Possums: Last night at about midnight, I heard our dogs barking outside (we have a fenced in backyard & doggie door). I was annoyed, but thought, "It can't go on for too long, right?!" - WRONG! It went on for what seemed like forever, so I went downstairs & opened the back door & called the dogs inside. They quickly came in... heads down... and wouldn't look at me... I thought they felt guilty for waking me up. Oh, well that's okay pup dawgs, I still love you. Well, I start walking towards the stairs to go to my room, when I see a dark, little thing on the carpet in our living room. I'm thinking, "Oh Lord, please let that be a sock" - something non-gross. I turned on a light and there, all curled up, was a dead baby possum :( Heart break!! :( It was about the size of my palm. I look at our one dog, Buddy (who's head was hung the lowest), and literally said, "What the crap Buddy?! You can't kill baby possums!!" So I got it in the trash & took it out, ugh. I find out in the morning that my sister found ANOTHER baby possum in the house & my mom found TWO MORE! WTH?!?!?! So that is a total of 4 dead baby possums in our house. That makes me sad. You know that mama possum is gonna get revenge on us...
3. Parents: I'm moving this Saturday and thank the Lord, my big sis is gonna help. We're getting a U-Haul and are going to do the whole bit. I'm bummed because my parents are going camping this weekend... My mom said she didn't "want to be in our way". :( I found this out because I had invited her over on Saturday, to see my new place; she had previously said how excited she was to see it. I feel guilty for my feelings being hurt over this... but my stepdad has a big truck and they're going camping?!?! They could've let me borrow his truck, instead of renting a U-Haul! :( He usually works all day Saturday and that's why I hadn't previously asked for his help - my bad I guess.
4. Moving: Also with this moving, I feel so alone honestly. I feel like none of my friends will be around on this day: some are going on a singles retreat, on vacation, etc. Or maybe I don't have as many friends as I thought I did?? I just know when some of my friends move, I try to help or at least be there. My sister and I can handle the moving, but I guess it's just the support that I miss. I think this is especially sad because my parents are going camping and pretty much saying, "See ya! Have fun with moving!" :( I know, pity party for me. I need to get over it.
5. Weight: Haha, number 5. I went over to a babysitting families house yesterday and Tuesday to cat/house sit. I went to use their restroom and weighed myself (which I haven't done in a good while). I've gained weight!! :( I shouldn't be surprised though - there IS a reason why my pants are incredibly tight and I don't feel good about myself. Sigh... sucks... I used to do Weight Watchers (Spring 2011). I started out at about 160 & went down to 147-ish. I stopped going because I couldn't go to the meetings every Thursday (my small group met that night) and the $40/month seemed like it could be spent elsewhere. = Bad idea. Last night I weighed 158 :( No one to blame but myself. My hopes are to jack up my exercise (walking) once I move. I'm right next to The Greenway (a big trail nearby), so I'm figuring I'll get home from work & take my Halle girl there (she's my black lab fyi). This is all me though and I have to work at it. Weight doesn't come off just by hoping it will or getting down on yourself. It is hard as hail, but I know I can do it. Oh, and driving home, I was starving, so I got a #1 & a Coke from Chick-Fil-A = HELLO!?!?! I love how I make excuses for myself and tell myself, "well I deserve to eat out!" - Hail no you don't! Well I can, but it's all about choices and what I choose to eat. I definitely could've gotten a grilled chicken sandwich (minus the fries), fruit & a water. But... I got the fried chicken sandwich, fries & a soad. Nuff said. 

So this is all for now! Life could be a hail of a lot worse. I need to count my lucky stars. Life goes on and so will I. I'm sure people could read this and say, "Really? That's why you're sad?! Get over it!" So, I will :) Muah!

How I make that money honey!

Aaaah... I love my job.

I haven't always loved my jobs either. This is the first job that I've ever looked forward to going to on Sunday nights. I look forward to getting there, getting my coffee and going through work emails. It's the people here and the business itself, that make it all worthwhile.

I work for a company called CarterBaldwin Executive Search Firm that is located in Roswell, Georgia. I'm an Administrative Assistant (started in February 2012) and will hopefully move up to the Research department with time. The company works with other business, colleges, non-profits, etc. to look for upper-level management. It's more "executive search" which is C-level (CEO's, CFO's, etc.), Presidents, Vice Presidents, etc. We find that "one needle in the haystack" that a company is looking for. It's amazing to see how the company works; before I was hired, I never knew there was such a thing!

The people here are just glorious! They work so hard and are so dedicated, but they are humans too and love to laugh and share life with one another. This job will definitely be my career and not a 'job' that I came across. I actually came across it one day last January/February - I wrote on Facebook that if anyone knew of any job openings, keep me in mind, etc. My friend, Holly, messaged me and told me her Dad's company was hiring, so she sent me the job description. Holly and I worked together at Chick-Fil-a when we were in high school (10 years ago - AH!) :)

And so here I am and I'm so in love. I don't ever want to leave :)

Grandma Louise in Tennessee

This past weekend I went to Franklin, TN with my girl Jen, to visit our friend Jamie who had recently moved up there. We had a blast in a glass type of weekend! Just a total girl weekend filling with good food, good drinks, shopping, the new Dark Knight Rises movie and good girl time!

Side note: My Grandma Louise is my mom's mom, who passed away November 2007. She was the light of our life and the head woman of the family, above our own mama. We found out she had cancer that Fall, but it had gone so far and she didn't want to go through any kind of treatment (she was 82). So we moved her from Columbia, SC to my aunt's house in Decatur, GA, so my aunt (who could work from home) could take care of her & make her comfy as possible. Grandma was just hilarious and that grandma that you couldn't wait to see. She always loved us - always. She spoiled us to death, but made us feel so special and loved. When we would drive up to see her in SC, Grandma had a tendency of still being in her nightgown at 4pm :) with curlers in her hair of course (a woman of my own heart!). She liked to "take her time" with things, as do I :) I remember she used to always wear these house dresses; they were almost like dressed-up nightgowns, that you could maybe wear outside... but they were really nightgowns :)

Anywho, we were shopping pretty much all day on Saturday in Nashville and I saw at least 3 women who reminded me of grandma. One woman in particular, we saw her in the mall bathroom. She had white hair and was taller than my grandma was, but she totally had a pink house dress on and little shoes! She was carrying her purse in her hand and went to each stall, looking at the toilets lol. She said out loud, "These are just too low. I need a higher one. The one in my house is higher than these!". Poor thing! She needed a higher toilet! There was another older woman in there powdering her nose and she turned and pretty much said, "I know, right?!" :) Awww loved it.

I happened to tell my own mom about this instance and about the other women who reminded me of grandma. My mom had had some wine (never sure how much), but she just stared at me. I couldn't tell if she was sad, happy or about to cry. I told her about the dress/nightgown the woman was wearing and the whole toilet comments. She looked at me and said, "Was it pink??" - IT WAS! It was just too crazy that she said that!! My mom immediately perked up and said, "I have grandma's nightgown, do you want to see it?". She had never told me that she's kept this specific nightgown (this was actually the one that she was wearing, when she passed away). It didn't look quite like the one I saw on the lady in the bathroom, but it was definitely pink.

My mom and I sat there and smelled the nightgown; it smelled like grandma. My mom said she keeps it wrapped up in one of my grandpa's sweatshirts he used to wear. Who would've known that a smell of someone could comfort someone so much. I saw a little change in my mom - a little bit of sadness, but happiness and calmness too. She thanked me so much for telling me that and said, "Thank you for loving me. I'm so glad I got you." :) I was trying to not make her cry this whole time and said, "Well you've got me and I got you!" :)

This is the closest picture I could find, to this magical pink nightgown. Excluding the creepy manican and the collar on the dress, this is it :)

To drive or not to drive?

As you may know, I'm on EH and have been talking to a few guys on there (not sooo many, but you know). I connected with one guy & talked to him for about 2 weeks or so, & we ended up meeting for dinner last Sunday night. It was fine & went ok, but there was no chemistry from his end. It is a little kick in the pants - someone telling you they don't have a spark with you. But I've had that feeling about other guys before! They may be really good looking, but nothing is there. You either have those feelings or ya don't. I really appreciated his honesty though; just for the sake of not holding on & moving on. He lived too far away anyways. On that note...

I've really connected with this other guy named John from Greenville, SC (I know, I know, another state). He is a musician (horn, piano, orchestra stuff - seeking a career with a symphony... he must be smart), he was in the military (went to Afghanistan & everything), Godly man, grew up in AZ, he's 28... and I'm sure I'll think of some more stuff. But he seems like a great guy: really laid back, loves to travel, kind, relaxed, etc. We've talked on the phone and texted; our phone convo was a little over an hour, felt really comfortable talking to him, interesting etc. He is on the west coast for about a week, having interviewed in Phoenix for the symphony out there.

So he texted me this yesterday afternoon:

"Driving back to Phoenix this Friday and back to SC this Monday. What do you think about getting together when I get back?"

I told him I'd be up for it...

"Excellent, what's your schedule like a week from this Friday night?"

Making plans ahead of time, I like it! I told him I didn't have any plans.

"Just so you're aware I don't have a vehicle at the moment since I sold mine to my bro. Would you be open to meeting up where I live in Greenville that Friday night & spend some time together during the day on Saturday that way we can have more time getting to know each other? I'll get a hotel room for you too :) Just let me know what sounds good to you!"

I told him that I'd think about it... that's a pretty big deal to me - driving to another state & staying over night. I've seen waaaaaay too many 20/20 ~ Dateline episodes about a situation like this going wrong.

"I'm flexible. I can probably borrow my sister's car & meet you in Atlanta Friday night. Whatever's good for you!"

So is this something to question or worry about? - Driving up there to see him? I dont even know how far it'd be... I did like how he said he could also use his sister's car to meet me. I felt that was sweet, to offer up another option so everything wouldn't be on me. So that convo was last night & I texted him today to tell him that I was still thinking about/trying to figure it out. I had thought if I were to drve up there, I could ask my big sis to tag along for the ride & the hotel stay :) No one would mess with me if she was there ;) She'd whoop some ass! I even offered to meet him maybe halfway. So I told him that & he responded...

"Actually, I can just meet you in Atlanta a week from this Friday night. What time is good for you?"

Whew... So no 2+ hour drive for me. Of course that'd be fun, but maybe not on a first meeting with someone. That'd be too nerve-racking for me & not near home! I guess too, I hate to say it, but I'm not getting my hopes up for anything (from the last meeting with a guy). Haha, I'm almost counting on him not having chemistry with me, like the last one. I know I can't think like that and can't count on that. But if I don't meet him, I'll never know. I feel like it takes a lot to put myself out there, so why not - what do I have to lose? I might be surprised!

Something in your tone...

Girls, trust your gut & don't let yourself be treated any less than what you deserve.

So I joined EH (E-Harmony) and have not had such great luck. Boo. But no worries, it's actually been picking up a little this week! I'm in noooo hurry for anything, but figured let's see what happens...

I would love to shoot for someone who is my age or a bit older... 28-35ish? Of course, I get a bunch of 26 year olds and a few 28's... I think there may be a 33 in there too. Age is just a number baby, right? Haha, not in this case...

So I am was talking to this guy (I won't use his real name, but started with a "D" and ends in "anny") and we got to the last step of emailing. (I believe he is 26 btw) Anywho, I notice his emails are just short and frankly... retarded to be honest. In one, he talked about how he was "recovering from the night before" - normal enough. But then he proceeds to tell me that he was in line at the bar and a girl comes up to him, lifts her dress and starts booty dancing on him....... Why the f- would you share that with me? Oh well, it was a good laugh, but kinda random. If that happened to me, I'd probably try to leave that out of the convo, just sayin. He also asked me when my last relationship was - I told him about... 2-3 months? So he went in on the whole, "Ooooo I see, lookin' for a rebound huh?? ;)" ... Ugh... sure... but no, not really, not at all jackass. Ewww. And here is the finale kicker: I asked what he was looking for in a girl, physically, personality-wise, morally, etc. He responds with... (of course, I should've seen this coming) "I'm a big ass and legs guy ;) How about you?" Hmmm...

Kinda disappointed, but lets be honest, I saw that one coming right off the bat. He honestly reminded me of my ex, just with his jackass bluntness and sexual comments. Haha, so me, the old, 28 year old that I am, I respond: "Wow haha, you and I may not be one the same level of this: You may be too young for me or I may be too old for you". He responds with, "Well if you're already having doubts, there's no sense in continuing this". Well said boosh! So I smile to myself (because I was proud I didn't give in to his "I'm an ass man myself") and close the match - aka I won't see him anymore & he can't contact me. (Sigh...) So this is a prime example of why I need to look at some older gents!

I'm actually talking to two guys (email) who seem really great, want to get to know me, tell me about themselves and actually haven't exchanged numbers yet - so I will report back soon how all of that is going. Maybe I should ask them if their ass-men or...? Ha!

Hump Day Holiday!

Happy 4th of July / Independence day everybody! Hope it was a great one! It was so nice having a day off during the week, but I have to admit, I feel a little tricked too... today should be Sunday and I should be at home either sleeping or laying in bed drinking coffee watching the tube. But it's Thursday - so I work today and tomorrow and then it's the weekend! So ya can't beat that!

This is the worst picture - I can't get any of my pics to flip right-side-up on my blog! HELP! Anywho, I painted my nails red, white & blue. Took this while I was driving (Don't worry - was at a red light!)

I had a great day yesterday! I spent a few hours with ma' gurl Jen at the pool - we had great gurl talk, sun, Skinny Girl drinks and Twizzlers (AKA my new obsession, thanks Shell)! Those little red things are addictive! We then watched some tv to cool down from the heat and then went to dinner at On the Border = YUM! After that, we were pretty beat & decided to head home to our beds! The sun really showed us who's boss! We both got some sun, laughs & good talks - so it was a success!

Me & Shell :)

Our Skinny Girl drinks! I liked the margartia one over the pina colada!

So far this morn, I've had 3 cups of coffee. I'm tired, sore (not sure why, this girl didn't run the Peachtree!), and sunburned on my upper back. I forgot that my back was exposed yesterday and paid no mind to it! It's not even an "even" sun burn; I always get the damn splotchy/spotty sunburn. Blast!

This is me at work right now. I'm very sad to be up so early.

Happy Thursday! God Bless America and everyone who fights for our freedom! <3

For the ladies

My lovely small group is doing a study on a series called, "Boy Meets Girl", by Louie Giglio from Passion City Church. We've done the first sermon/week one and I LOVE it! It's wonderful and a great reminder of what us ladies deserve. I've already started listening to the second week and I'm just amazed. It's pretty common sense stuff; we're all like, "Oh yeah, yeah"... but when you really listen to it and take it to heart, it means a whole lot more.

Here are some notes I took that I'd like to share: (They're random & spiratic, just FYI)

~God is at the heart of it all.

~Let God put in your heart and mind, a dream of what He is imagining for you.

~YOU have intrinsic value because you were created in the image of God & made in the likeness of God.

This is so true & a reality check for me especially :)
~You are not valuable because of how many friends you have on Facebook, how many people follow you on Twitter, how your hair looks, what kind of car you drive, your accomplishments, how much money you make in a year, etc.

~We can lose sight of how valuable we are, because when we get into relationships, we seek value & acceptance from that other person.

~Ladies: We have "off-the-charts" value!

~See the beauty & value in everyone. Look through the God lense; not the cultural lense.

~Turn the "scam meter" off and the "thank you Jesus meter" on.

~The man's role is to pursue and lead.

~Girls still want a guy who will go through a wall for them. :) (True!)

~We can wear "newness" in place of that brokenness we have in our lives.

~Before any boy meets any girls, boy & girl needs to meet Jesus and love Him first.

~Don't marry any man who is not in love with Jesus!

Step 1: First & foremost, before starting any relationship or even really thinking about it, is to...

Follow Jesus

Can ya dig it? Yessss...