The Breakup

So, he and I finally, actually broke up a few days ago. I had and still have the biggest, heaviest feeling, that it was the right thing to do. I guess I do feel like I have a weight lifted off of my shoulders. Not that the "weight" was him, but I guess just the fighting, arguing, nit-picking (on my part), etc. I'm going okay, but when I try to start to think about things and him, I almost start to panic, so I have to quickly think about something else. It's very weird and numbing - breakups. Even if it's for the best or what you wanted, it's still so hard. That other person becomes like your other half (or at least to me he was like that). He was my go-to guy, my buddy, my friend. My heart hurts that I've lost all of that. But I know we couldn't have broken up and still remained friends or talk every day.

One thing that is crazy and ridiculous to do, is to change your relationship status on Facebook. Good Lord, I shake my head at that. I mean, it's so silly, but you feel obligated to do it. He did it first, so I followed the next day. A few people messaged me and said that they were praying for me, which was really sweet and kind. Of course, I get the one from someone who I never see and when I do it's very "surface" talk. She/he said in the message, "Oh my gosh Amy, I saw your post! What happened?!?!" ... What the crap do you think happened?? And honestly, it's none of your business! Why in the world would I share with them, when I see them maybe... twice a year? If a good friend asked me that, of course, I'd spill the beans, but c'mon! Grrrr. It's just annoying and stupid.

I feel like I'm kind of floating around right now. Everyone has said that I seem to be doing so well with all of this. I guess I'm just trying to stay busy with other things and not think about it; because when I start thinking/analyzing it, I start to almost panic. Thank GOD for my girlfriends and my family. Close girl friends and my small group girls = love! They have been so sweet and just been there for me through all of this, checking up on me, planning girls nights, etc. I would definitely be lost without them. <3