Breakups are always hard - especially for me. I've always been the one getting dumped and have always tried to hold on to someone as long as I can. Of course because I love them and care about them, even if things aren't working. Maybe it's the fear of not wanting to be alone? Who knows. But that's been me for the past 10 years or so (however long I've been dating).
But this time, I almost feel guilty for how I feel and how "okay" I am with things. I feel like I've felt this way for months now, and maybe that's why it's a little easier. I have a pretty clear view on things and just a strong feeling that this "isn't it". It's heartbreaking though, because you become part of that person's family and we've been together almost two years. I don't regret anything, but I wonder to myself... So what have I been doing the past two years and why is this happening? Maybe we should've known sooner? He even said he had so many doubts our first year and almost walked away a few times... Maybe he should have?
I've honestly been through a lot worse than this one. I guess this is just different because I feel like it's mainly my decision. I'm pretty ready to let go and he wants to keep trying, give us some time, etc. But I already know. :(
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