Wow. I feel like such a b- this morning. I actually got mad over walking out to flowers on my car. I was running late anyways and that was my excuse for, "Oh geez, I gotta find a vase, put these in water, etc!". How un-grateful am I?? The flowers came along with a ziploc bag full of cards I had previously given "him", a 1-song cd he made for me and a little note. He said he couldn't sleep in the note, so I'm guessing he either came late in the night or early this morning.
I guess the real reason I'm upset is because we talked for a long time last night - like 3 different times - and each time we were both crying. He has some things he wants to try, but I've already thrown my hands up in the air and given up. I don't feel like he's understanding that either and I'm probably not saying it very clearly either. I told him if anything, I need to work on myself, need some space, etc. His response: "I don't see why we can't work on ourselves, together". He wants to go to church together and put this relationship back around Christ. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS!!! Sorry. It's just frustrating because I've been trying to "work" on things and "wait it out" for about 6 months now, and he's juuust now getting it - that things aren't working out well. I told him that and that I feel like we are on two seperate pages, I'm two steps ahead of him, etc. He's at the point where he's saying, "I'll do anything to fix this" etc.
I just feel smothered and I'm completely exhausted. I need a vacay for about a month or two. Beach preferred.
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